Walk Through Podcast
The Walk Through Podcast shares authentic stories of navigating life’s valleys & victories, highlighting how we find God in the midst of every season of life. Co-hosted by Gianina and Kiley, each episode offers hope and inspirations through real, raw & faith-filled conversations.
Walk Through Podcast
From Diagnosis to Victory: A Personal Journey
Life often leads us through challenging valleys, and it takes unwavering faith and support to navigate them. In this enlightening episode, we delve into Kiley's story—a journey marked by the discovery of a brain tumor, her move from California to Tennessee, and the transformative power of community.
Kiley opens up about her desire for a safer environment for her daughter and how that desire intertwined with her health crisis. The impactful moments of her diagnosis reveal the fears and questions that surfaced during this harrowing time. Yet amidst the uncertainty, Kiley's reliance on prayer and the support from friends and family become a beacon of hope.
Through Kiley's experiences, we learn about the profound significance of sharing our stories and seeking help during tough times. There’s an important reminder in her journey: we are never truly alone, and God's timing can unexpectedly align with our needs. Join us as we embrace the powerful narrative of faith, resilience, and the strength found in community.
This episode is not just for those in similar valleys, but for anyone seeking hope and connection in their journey. Tune in, and let Kiley's powerful testimony inspire you. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this uplifting episode with those who may need encouragement!
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Welcome to the very first official episode of Walkthrough. I'm Gianina and I'm so excited you're here. This podcast is about finding God in the valleys of life and walking through them with faith and hope. To kick off this journey, I'm joined by my co-host and my amazing friend, Kiley, who has an incredible story to share, from trusting God's timing to so many unexpected things that she's faced with her family, and her journey is a powerful example of walking through the valley with a whole lot of faith. So, Kiley, welcome officially as our first guest.
Kiley:I'm so glad we're doing this. I know it has definitely been long overdue and I'm excited to hear your story because, although I know probably most of your story just from walking alongside of you as your friend, I know that there's probably a lot of things that you probably even just kept to yourself because you didn't think that you could share that with other people, or things that you've gone through, or words that God has given you, and so I'm excited to learn even more about it. So let's just start off with with your story who are you? And just tell a little bit more about yourself, sure.
Kiley:So my name is Kiley, Gianina and I met gosh. Has it been 10 years already, almost 10 years ago. I live here in Tennessee with my husband, ryan, and our 14-year-old daughter, and grew up in most of my life. Grew up in California, surrounded by family and friends, and now we're all kind of just spread across the country. Yeah, I grew up in the church. We've always been really strong in our faith. I'm 43 years old, almost 43 years old, and I've got lots of different stories, as I'm sure anybody else would at my age, and God has just proven his faithfulness and his goodness Home and time again.
Kiley:Yeah, I love that and I think the older that we get, the more that we see how he has been in, like every situation, even when we maybe didn't see it or feel it at that time. So absolutely looking back, yeah. So let me ask you this what is the reason that you decided to move from California to Tennessee, or how did that kind of come about?
Kiley:So the journey to Tennessee was pretty much like 10 years in the making.
Kiley:Since you met me, because you know I'm in Tennessee. Well, yeah, I'm just kidding.
Kiley:No, it really. It started when Reese was little. So just a little more background. I was born in Nebraska and then my family moved to California and then we moved to Montana when I was in first grade. So we were there for, I think, a year, year and a half, and then we moved back to California and that's where I had been until we moved here.
Kiley:But when Reese was younger, when she was probably two or three years old, we started to really have the desire to move out of California, just so that we could give her not necessarily a better life, but a different life, because where we were in California it wasn't safe for her to play outside.
Kiley:We were constantly monitoring, you know, stuff that was going on around the city, and so we, we really had a desire to move somewhere where we could have, you know, open spaces, a slower pace, you know, just just to give her those different experiences that I it's weird to say a different experience than I had when I was a kid or or similar to what I had as a a kid, because I didn't grow up in the country necessarily, but I just feel like times were so different back then and maybe things were very similar to what they are now. We just know more about it because of social media. But you know, I spent most of my time playing outside with my sister and going to friends houses. We didn't have video games and I mean we had Nintendo, but you know there was a lot of stuff that we didn't know we.
Kiley:There was a lot of stuff that kids have access to now that we I didn't even have till I, you know, graduated high school. So we just we ultimately wanted something different for her and we started, started with the idea of moving to Idaho because we knew that my parents were going to be retiring there and we figured if we were going to move out of state we should probably go somewhere where we know family or have friends, and at that time we just were not in a position to really financially be able to do anything and eventually got priced out of it. Then we moved, or sorry, we didn't move, obviously. I guess we moved on to the idea of moving to Montana because that has always felt like home for me, just because of, you know, the memories and the family members that I have over there. And of course, the show Yellowstone comes out and we get get priced out of that.
Kiley:So yeah, so we kind of, we kind of let things go, but we still had that desire and we prayed about it and you know, every night we would, we would say prayers, you know, with Reese before bed, and always on our list was you know, god just opened those doors for us. That that's if, if you know, if you want us to make any kind of move and just allow it to happen. And over the years we had friends um move out of state and I was always curious to hear their stories about how you know, how it happened for them. And every single one of them just said you know it, just the doors opened and things just went really naturally. And while I was so excited for them, I kept wondering why is it not happening for us?
Kiley:So, fast forward to 2020, the year that everybody is just so fond of reminiscing over. Reminiscing over, sorry. In September I started dealing with some pretty regular headaches that were always in the same spot and no medicine, nothing I did was touching it and I had to kind of think outside the box. And because I've grown up with headaches, you know this. I've struggled with migraines and headaches for a really long time.
Gianina:Yeah.
Kiley:And before you know when I would take ibuprofen, it would knock them out and I would be fine. But these ones were just, they just would not go away. And so I started thinking okay, we're in the middle of a pandemic. I went from working partly from home to full-time from home sitting in front of a computer. Maybe it's eye strain, maybe it's muscle tension, maybe it's stress. So I started going to the chiropractor. I went to the eye doctor. I got a new chair for my office. I was doing everything I could think of to try to try to get these things to go away and nothing really worked. So I eventually made a call to my doctor and she said Okay, let's, let's do some blood work to just make sure there's nothing inflammatory going on. We'll do an MRI, make sure everything structurally is okay. And I said Fine, you know, I have, I've had MRIs before and nothing has ever shown up. So I was just kind of going with the flow.
Kiley:And on November 19th was my first MRI scan, and I think it was the next day. It might have even been the same night, I honestly can't remember. But my doctor called me and she said OK, they, they found a mass in your left frontal lobe and it's about 1.2 centimeters, and they want you to have an MRI, with and without contrast, so that they know what it is that they're dealing with. She said it is consistent with what they call a meningioma, which is often a benign brain tumor. Usually they're not cancerous. And so you I'm getting this call as we're in our bedroom. Ryan is taking a nap in the bed next to me and I'm just like I think I was watching tv or something, and so I get this phone call and as soon as, because they found a math, I like grabbed his arm and he just woke up like what's happening and I just I you know started tearing up and told them what was going on.
Kiley:And so, anyway, have the MRI with the with and without contrast, and it confirmed this is what we're dealing with. So I see the neurosurgeon in December and I'm at this appointment by myself and the appointment where I met her because it was she, she was her office was in a hospital, so during covid, like you couldn't have anybody with you, it was just the person for the appointment.
Kiley:Yeah, and I'm sitting there and she was. I want to say she was close to two hours late for the appointment, so I'm literally sitting in this room, just not. Of course, I know that I'd have this tumor, but I don't know what she's gonna say. I don't, I don't know anything at this point.
Kiley:And so I'm sitting there by myself and she comes in and she kind of rushes it. I think she was in surgery or something, but anyway she. The first thing she says was okay, we can have surgery, it's small enough, it's in a easy you know spot to get out. It was literally sitting right on top of my brain and you know she says it hasn't really. It doesn't look like it's attached to anything really. So you know we could do that.
Kiley:It's also very reasonable for you to wait six months and do another scan and see, you know, if there's been any growth. Because what she told me with meningiomas is that they don't grow linearly. So they could be the same size for years and then have a weird growth spurt, or they can grow consistently and then stop. So you just never know how they're going to react consistently and then stop. So you just never know how they're going to react. So I talked to Ryan and the only two people that we have known that have gone through brain surgery did not come out of it the same and their brain surgeries were for different matters. They both had glioblastomas. The tumors were larger and harder to get caught in the brain, but that was the only thing we knew. And so we decided to wait.
Kiley:And for six months, almost every single day, I was thinking about it what's going on? What is it doing? How is it growing? Every time I had a headache, what is it doing? How is it growing? Every time I had a headache, you know, my mind would just start spinning and I was praying constantly like, okay, god, just take this away from me, just let it miraculously disappear from the MRIs, because I've heard about that happening before, and it was pray, pray, pray. And so, six months later, I have my scan and I meet with a doctor on the day of our 15th wedding anniversary, which was yay. A doctor walks in and the first thing she says is okay, I see that there's been some growth and.
Kiley:I just my heart shattered and thankfully my mom was with me because Ryan couldn't make it to that appointment. So while I'm going through scenarios in my head, she's asking all the questions and the doctor said no, we can still have surgery. It's still small enough to get out fairly easily. We could also do radiation, but there's side effects with that and it's not 100% guarantee that you know it would be taken care of completely. And I said OK, if I decided not to do anything, when would when would you recommend my next scan be? And she said three months. Scan B and she said three months. So she didn't tell me directly, but I could tell that it was concerning enough for her to want to monitor it more closely because it had already grown so much and you know that six month period.
Kiley:So Ryan and I went away for our anniversary. We talked about it that weekend and we came to the conclusion that you know, it wasn't a matter of if I should have the surgery, but when, because we obviously wanted to do it when it was easy enough to get out and not wait too long to where it would start attaching to things and get harder to remove. So I was set up for surgery. I think it was like two weeks, like it happened really fast and I had never had surgery before, I had never even been under anesthesia and I thought part of one of the funny things, yeah so Ryan's whole thing has always been go big or go home.
Kiley:So yeah.
Kiley:I was like okay, well, I'm just going from no surgery ever to having brain surgery, that's gotta be like terrifying yeah.
Kiley:Why? And I got into the pre-op room again Ryan couldn't be in there with me and the nurse. I remember she was checking my vitals and she said you must be really nervous. I said, well, yeah, I mean, this was kind of a big deal. She says your heart rate is as fast as a child's.
Gianina:My goodness.
Kiley:Yeah. So one of the things that was comforting to me was my sister-in-law worked at the hospital where I had my surgery and a friend of hers was actually a nurse who scrubbed in on my surgery. So she came into the pre-op room and she said oh, I'm Jennifer's friend, I'm going to be in your surgery today. So I was that kind of put me at ease a little bit. My surgeon came in and she answered any last minute questions and I asked her to kind of track the size of the tumor from when we found it to what it is now and she said it had basically grown from the size of like a pencil eraser to a grate and that was in a six month period. So she says we're doing the right thing, we're making the right decision. So the anesthesiologist gives me my little cocktail and I don't even remember making it out of the pre-op room. Next thing I know I'm waking up in recovery and Ryan's on my right and the doctor's on the left. She said she got it out and we found out the pathology show that it was a grade one benign meningioma, which is pretty much like best case scenario. She actually said if she were to have anything, that's what she would want.
Kiley:So, in my thinking, it was.
Kiley:You know, while I mean it took me a little while to process this, but hindsight is always 20-20.
Kiley:So, when you're thinking about the process of things, I remember praying for God to take this away from me and, while it didn't happen in a way that I had imagined, he still took it away from me by putting me in the right place with the right doctors and the right hospital and the right insurance. You know, and and I don't know if you remember me writing about this, but, uh, I remember that parable of the, the neighborhood that flooded and the, the guy was sitting on top of his roof and people were coming by to try to help him and he kept saying, oh no, thanks, god's gonna take care of me, god's gonna take care of me, and, and he eventually drowns. And when he goes to heaven, he says God, what happened? Why didn't you save me? And he says, well, I sent the boat and I sent the helicopter and I sent these other people. But you know, so I just felt like all of those things were God's way of rescuing me and and taking me out of that situation.
Gianina:Yeah.
Kiley:So, going back, I promise this ties in to our move to Tennessee. This ties in to our move to Tennessee. We had scheduled a trip to visit Tennessee because our nieces had moved here and bought houses and so we it was just going to be a visit to see them and so we came in August, so two months after my surgery, and we were here for 10 days and we were able to just kind of drive around and we, we just fell in love with the area and so that started the. You know, that started Tennessee being on our radar of possible places to move.
Kiley:So in February we came back for just like a weekend trip because it was my birthday, and our niece told Ryan that there had been a posting in the city that had been open for a year and it was for an electrical inspector and he was an electrician in California. But he knew that it wasn't a job that he could necessarily retire in because it was so hard on his body and you know this would have been a job that would allow him freedom from that. But you know, also give him good benefits, good retirement. And so he he found out what certifications he would need. He took the test, he got certified, he interviewed in March and we put the house up for sale in April and we were here in June.
Gianina:Once it once it happened.
Kiley:It happened, yes, and so well, and I remember this is a weird piece of information, but I remember he was in the shower one day and we were talking about it over the shower curtain and he's like, yeah, so let's contact this person, let's get our house up for sale. And I said wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second, because we have been talking about this for like eight years, nine years at this time, why. Now he says I don't know. I just feel like it's a God thing, like it's just things are falling into place. And it was then what I thought back of all of my other friends who had moved. It's like, okay, I get it. So I always think about how we had been praying for these things for so long and it's like I I genuinely believe that God wants to, wants to give us the desires of our hearts and it, but he, his timing, is perfect. So it's like if we had, if we had forced a move before my diagnosis or my surgery, who knows how that would have worked out.
Gianina:Yeah, A different doctor on a different day could have had a different outcome you know yes.
Kiley:So, and, honestly, the doctor that I had, I originally had asked my primary like, is there anybody else that I can see? Because I just I didn't really like where her office was and she kind of rushed me in my appointment and my physician she was like, you know, she's the best one around, and so I gave it another go and she had actually moved offices and it was such a different experience from that very first appointment I had. And she actually, when we had decided to have the surgery, she opened up an hour before she started taking other patients, just so she could go down my list of questions. She was fantastic, yeah, yeah.
Kiley:So, yeah, it was quite a whirlwind and I and I will say a funny, funny tidbit, I don't know if you've ever had an MRI, um, but there is a, there's a series or sequence of sounds and it's very repetitious, but they're they're all different and it was during those MRIs that I felt like and my MRIs were, you know, 30-45 minutes just because of everything that they needed to do, and I would always be praying during them. But I would pray in the you know the pattern, you know like Lord, take this away from me, lord, take this in the bed and I would like yeah, but I would like, as people came to my mind, I would start praying for other people, and so it's kind of odd that I would. I met God in the MRI machines yeah, pretty frequently, that's so cool.
Gianina:That's so cool, though, and I think it's interesting hearing your perspective on this now, because I think when you were going through it and we were having conversations about it, I just remember at that time, when you were sharing, I never once doubted, I never once was worried that something bad would happen, or like Kiley's not gonna be okay, or what if this happens, or what if that happens? Somehow? It was like God just told me she's fine, she's gonna be okay, and so I don't remember ever having a moment of fear when it comes to that and I don't know if it was just because of you were talking to me or if this is how you were feeling in the moment, but I don't remember a lot of like. It didn't seem like fear was overwhelming for you in those moments, and I could be wrong, you know. Maybe you just like covered it really well, but I just remember. Obviously there were concerns and there were questions and there was wondering, but I don't remember a paralyzing fear to hit you.
Kiley:Yeah, I definitely remember being very anxious about it, but I don't think I allowed it to control me. And I think I remember we had talked maybe a day or two before the surgery and I remember you said something to me Because one of my biggest, my biggest concerns was the left frontal lobe is where your personality is and stuff, and so I was afraid that I wasn't going to be me afterwards. And I remember telling you that I had I also had viral meningitis in 2008. And I was hospitalized for like nine days with that. And you had said I don't even know if you remember this, but you're like it's no wonder why.
Kiley:Why Satan keeps trying to attack that part of you because you're just such a unique and kind person and he doesn't want good things for you. And I just remember thinking like, yeah, you're right, and if that's what he's trying to do, then I know that God's going to bring me out of this. Okay, and when we actually, when we told Reese about this, she knew that I had a, had a tumor and we were monitoring it, but when we told her that I needed to have surgery, she was like, okay, I said, do you have any questions?
Kiley:She says no, I was going to take care of you, you'll be, okay, and I think it was honestly, I think it was, honestly, I think it was just I had such an amazing support system around me that I don't. I don't think people were letting me sit in it and be afraid. You know, like they would talk. Wait, they would talk me through the fear, they would talk me through the worry and um, and I'm sure my parents were beside themselves, even though they didn't show it to me in that moment. But yeah it was definitely a scary time.
Gianina:I think about how beautiful that timing is, even having that community around you, because if it would have been after you moved, you may not have had that immediate community. Or even if it would have been years before you had a solid community, it may have been a little bit harder. And so, just like God's faithfulness in bringing people around you, that like it's like even if he didn't audibly speak to you he put people around you, that like spoke his truth into your life and that gave you peace, like even Reese Absolutely yeah, yeah.
Kiley:And my mom, you know, she was at church one night and there was a song that she just, I guess, started weeping too, and it was honestly I can't remember what it was. She can tell you, but it had something to do with, like you know, having an army behind you and she's like they saying this, and I just immediately thought of you and this was God's way of telling me that you were going to be okay.
Gianina:Yeah.
Kiley:And she had also told me she was in the waiting room with Ryan and his mom and she was praying for the angels to surround me. And she says at that exact moment when she said that prayer, she saw this really super hugely tall nurse walking around the waiting room, which is like hello god is that one of her nurses.
Kiley:So, yeah, there, there was just a lot, of, a lot of blessings in that, um, you know, and there's times when, like after the surgery, because I, when I found, when I, when I was diagnosed with this, I, you know, one of the first things people do these days is join Facebook groups so that you can, you know, talk with other people who are going through the same thing. There are so many people who are, who are dealing with with these things on a daily basis and their symptoms are just I, I, I, I almost like feel guilty that I had it so easy, or I don't know if that's the right, if I want to say it that way.
Kiley:I don't want to diminish anything that anybody else is going through, but I'm like, why was I, you know, so lucky with, with what I got, versus this other person who's just dealing with all of this struggle, and there are a lot of people that have said they don't really have much of a support system, or people are downplaying it like it's not a big deal for them. And I just felt like I had such an opposite experience because I did have so much support. I knew that, people knew that I was scared and they walked me through it. I knew that people knew that. I was scared and they walked me through it.
Gianina:And yeah, I, just I. I would encourage anybody who is going through that to just pray about it and pray that a different, like health issue or something that they're dealing with. What would you say to them to kind of like help them navigate through this season?
Kiley:I would just I would remind them that God's timing is everything and, even though there are certain things that happen to us that we cannot understand, is walking with us. You know, and if you don't have somebody in your immediate support that can offer that kind of guidance and support to you, just keep praying that God will show you where you do have support. I think sometimes people are so focused on what they can see and what they have right in that moment that they forget to look to the side and think like, oh, you know what this thing happened over here, or I do have this person over here, you know, and it's hard to like focus on multiple things and not just focus on what you don't have. Yeah, prayer is huge. Yeah, I, and I I would say, if you can, if, if somebody is going through something, there is almost 100% of the time there is somebody else who has gone through something very similar.
Kiley:So I, you know the Facebook groups. Sometimes they're great for finding people like that where you can connect with them. Obviously it's social media, so you know there might not always be that thing, but like, even if you just go to a prayer group at church or try to find people that can sit with you. You know, just you got to try to seek it out.
Gianina:Yeah, I think if I can say, like you hit it right there, like you have to seek it out, because, especially when you're going through something, it's really easy Like the enemy will just put it in your mind Like you're alone, nobody's there for you. You're the only one that's ever dealt with this Like. This is just you and so it's so important to like let people know if you're scared, let people know if you're hurting, let people know if there's something going on, because I know for me when I've gone through things.
Gianina:I just kind of assumed people knew how I was feeling and just like blame shifted Like well, nobody's here for me as I'm going through this situation but really nobody knew that I needed somebody, and so it's important to reach out to that community and look at ask God, like literally, you can just ask him and say who is it that you've placed in my life that I need to reach out to about this? Like, and if you don't have anybody, pray that God would bring those people into your life, because he's definitely faithful to answer that.
Kiley:Yeah, well, and I remember that when I shared my story, there were a couple of people that responded and said, oh my gosh, I had something similar. And, oddly enough, one of my neighbors now she had a meningioma removed, not in the same location as mine, but it was literally like we were within months of each other of having this, and so I found out and we were just able to connect. So you never know, unless, unless you do share it. And then, because I think sometimes people are reluctant to share their stories because they don't want to, maybe they don't want to bring attention to themselves or it's something that's a little bit like they, they I don't know if they feel like they want to just deal with it by themselves, but I think once, once you share your story, you're bound to have people that will come out and be like hey, yeah, I dealt with that too and it was really scary.
Kiley:Yeah, so. So, and the other thing to remember, too, is if something is happening in your life that you feel is so overwhelming to you, but you compare it to somebody else's story, don't, don't, don't let that be, don't let that make you feel afraid to share your story, because, even though it may be different from somebody else's, it's still significant for you. So don't downplay what it is that you're going through just because you feel like somebody else has it worse.
Kiley:Yeah because it's still like, it's still affecting you and your life and you. You need to be able to have people that are going to support you through that.
Gianina:Yeah absolutely Well. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your story and I. It just makes me like that much more excited for us to do this together, because that truly is what it's all about like to share our stories and give people hope and to share, show people that they're not alone and they have other people that are walking through this journey. It's like, yes, the Lord is so faithful and walking through this life with us, but he's given us this community and he has given us each other to do this with too. So that's definitely such a powerful thing and you have such a great testimony of faith and perseverance.
Gianina:And, literally, I guess what I said back in 2020, which I don't remember, but it's true the enemy is going to try to attack the parts of us that God has the biggest purpose in, so just you know, to stay encouraged in that.
Gianina:So thank you so much, and I just want to encourage anyone who is listening to that If you're walking through this kind of valley or any kind of valley, I just really hope that Kiley's story encourages you and reminds you that you're not alone and God is with you. We're here with you and I hope that you have more community that is here with you as well, and if this episode does encourage you, we just want to ask you to subscribe, leave a review and share it with somebody else who you think may need to hear this, because there just are so many people and we're going to have so many more stories to come that I know people can be encouraged by, and we're definitely honored that God would put this podcast on our hearts, where we can share these things with you and be a light in the world in this way.