Walk Through Podcast

Trust, Trauma, and the Road Back to Yourself- Anna's Story Part 1

• Gianina & Kiley • Season 1 • Episode 9

Share episode

Send us a text

What happens when everything falls apart at once? Anna Eaton's testimony takes us through the valleys of a failing marriage, a crumbling business, and a mental health crisis—straight to an extraordinary restoration only God could orchestrate.

Walking away from nearly 20 years of marriage with divorce papers in hand, Anna found herself trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship while grieving the loss of her fitness studio during a pandemic. "It wasn't even the lowest it got," she reveals. Diagnosed with Complex PTSD and struggling with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, Anna's journey reached a breaking point where everything seemed irreparable.

Then came an unexpected invitation to visit a local church. That single decision became the catalyst for a radical transformation that would eventually reunite her family and revolutionize her understanding of faith. With raw honesty, Anna unpacks the stigma surrounding mental health in Christian communities, explaining how therapy became pivotal tools in her healing—not replacements for faith, but resources God provided alongside spiritual restoration.

The most powerful testimony? A marriage restored against all odds. Her husband now affectionately calls them "Anna and John 2.0," serving together on their church worship team with their son. "Our marriage was done. It really was, and it's crazy and just so amazing," Anna shares, revealing how obedience preceded emotion during reconciliation.

Anna's story demonstrates that healing isn't always instantaneous or purely spiritual—sometimes it requires professional help and persistent faith working together. If you're navigating broken dreams, relationship struggles, or mental health battles, this testimony offers hope that God never wastes our painful seasons.

Don't miss part two next week, where Anna opens up about walking through grief and finding hope amid heartbreak. Subscribe now to hear how her story continues to unfold.

Join our fb community group and meet your hosts: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BQ6qhcd3A/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Support the show

Gianina:

Welcome back to Walkthrough, the podcast, where we meet people right in the middle of their victories and valleys, not just on the other side of them. Today's episode features my amazing friend, anna Eaton, a worship leader, songwriter, teacher and mom, whose story is overflowing with grace, healing and purpose. Anna opens up about codependency, the pain of separation and even mental health struggles, but her story is also one of victory, of a restored marriage, renewed self-worth and learning to see herself the way God sees her. Her testimony is raw, real and filled with the redeeming power of worship and love. Anna's journey reminds us that God never wastes a single part of our story, and I'm so excited to get into that.

Gianina:

So welcome, Anna, hi, welcome. Yes, it is so awesome for me to have you on, just because being able to share this with one of my friends and hear your story. Obviously, I know you and I know parts of your story, but I think there's going to be so much more that I'm going to glean from this and I just can't wait. So, anna, can you start by sharing a little bit about yourself and what your journey with the Lord and your family has looked like? Of course, well.

Anna:

I'm 40. I turned 40 this year. I have a 9-year-old, 12-year-old and 16-year-old, and John, my husband, he's awesome, he has my whole heart. We've been married for 19 years. Like Gianina said, yeah, it's almost 20. I am a teacher. I teach first grade. First grade's awesome. It doesn't even feel like a job most days. I mean, you know, some days are harder than others but, like, I think first grade is awesome because you see, like the light bulb moment and I think that's probably the most rewarding than any other grade level, just because it's just like, oh, and you can just automatically see that little light bulb and I get to witness that every day.

Anna:

I have always loved the Lord, but I can say that I wasn't always close to Him. Lord, but I can say that I wasn't always close to Him. Church, you know, growing up it was just kind of like here and there we were the people that went on Easter, you know, and we like wore the pretty dresses and we took the picture and I had the little frilly socks that fall down and my granny always bought me a nice dress for Easter and we went, and my grandparents definitely. They went to church more, but I went with them sometimes and later on in life, church kind of just became like this mundane routine, kind of like a Sunday chore. I didn't think about the Lord as much as I should have and really I thought, oh yeah, okay, yep, I'm good, I have a great relationship with the Lord and I didn't have one at all. And so, goodness, I was humbled, because it really wasn't until I almost lost my marriage, my family, that I really met Jesus. I was on my knees and we were filing for divorce. Like we even had that initial appointment, that first appointment that you have with a lawyer, and yeah, that was.

Anna:

I think sometimes those bad things, those wrecked things, have to happen so that you can really find out who he is, and it did. I had a lot of things kind of happen at once so that you can really find out who he is, and it did. I had a lot of things kind of happen at once. You know, covid was kind of sneaking around and I had just opened up a fitness studio business it was called the Dragonfly Studio and I basically just hosted and taught fitness classes in a safe, nonjudgmental space, space where and most of my, you know customers were women, although I did have a few men, but fitness classes are mostly, like you know, a female thing. Dudes usually like to work out and lift weights and stuff like that, but I loved the idea of having a space where women could go, and men too, but we could come together and hold each other accountable and just be able to work together and have a community.

Anna:

And then COVID came around, and then all of a sudden came around, and then, all of a sudden, you shouldn't be working together in groups anymore. You know, groups are bad, and so it's just something so amazing went to something devastating, and when everything came back together and we were able to open back up again, we never recovered, and I lost my community, and it was kind of like a death of a dream, you know, and that one was really, really hard. So my marriage was failing, my business was failing, and I know those things had to happen. So, kind of like the painful season was probably the best season. I couldn't say that then, though, but now that I'm out of it, I can definitely say that that's the biggest learning season of my life. So my marriage was restored, and my husband, son and I all serve on the worship team at our church together. I finally found the community that I was trying to create together. I finally found the community that I was trying to create, and that's where I met you, g, at church.

Gianina:

Yeah, it reminds me of the song Your Way is Better, where it's like we plan things out ourselves, and I think that God is honored in that when we do take a step and we do plan things, but he then redirects it, he just shows up in a way that says, hey, I love that you're doing this. Let me put my blessing on it and honor it and it's like, oh, his way is just so much better than anything I could have come up with.

Anna:

Yeah, I do know that now I feel like that sometimes a dream that's outside of using the Lord's guidance or to further His kingdom is really an idol, because I almost worshipped this idea, this dream, this business, and I didn't have—I mean, I thought I had God in there and we prayed after classes and things like that, and my intentions were good. I wanted to, you know, help other people. I've always been kind of that person that just wants to help, that just wants to help, and I think that at some point it just became that idol and I think that's why it was so devastating to me when it didn't work.

Gianina:

Yeah.

Anna:

It was tough.

Gianina:

I was listening to a message earlier today and it was talking about how, whenever Jesus asks us to give something, it's always to give us something bigger back, like he was talking about the little kid who brought his fishes and loaves, how he gave this little bit that he had and God gave it back to him in multiplication Didn't just give it back to everybody else, but also gave it to this little boy who brought his fishes and loaves. And when he asks us for that dream to lay it down and I don't even know that you're necessarily walking in that yet, but I just feel like God's going to bring something that you're going to look at it and be like, wow, this is so much more satisfying than what I tried to create on my own.

Anna:

Yeah, yeah, I hope you're right, Because right now it's just kind of just an empty building, an empty space, and I am just kind of waiting and we've talked about this, you know like just waiting for what God has in store for it, because there's so many things I could do. You know, we could sell it, we could, we could turn it into some other business, I could force all those things, but I just I feel like God hasn't really told me what to do with this, with this space, with this business, or if it needs to go back to being a fitness studio. And you know, I I'm just going to wait, and that's hard for me because I I don't like waiting, Do you?

Kiley:

feel. Do you feel that with um you know everything, with COVID and the studio shutting down and you losing that community? Obviously you found it and you can see in hindsight you know how God was working through that. Did that challenge your trust in the process or can you see the trust in it? Or how is that affecting your relationship with God or maybe even with other people? Are you seeing the big picture now? Were you always seeing the big picture? Did you struggle a little bit in those moments?

Anna:

Oh, yeah, for sure. You know, trust is something that I used to give away like way too quickly, like that. In my nature, I I love too easily and I have always struggled with like boundaries. Um, and I was laughing with my husband the other day. I said there's there's no telling how many situations and like serial killers that God has protected me from in my life because I am so gullible and, like you know, I just jump in or I don't so much anymore. But yeah, so now I'm just, you know, after these situations and then being hurt by people, I just started to trust no one people. I just started to trust no one.

Anna:

And I think that that really led me to the next chapter, which, after losing the business and my marriage failing, like that wasn't even that, wasn't even the lowest it got, it got really bad. And you know, I started to trust like not even myself. It was, and that's something I'm still working on, like I always second guess myself. I mean you can's something I'm still working on, like I always second guess myself. I mean you can ask Gianina, you know, does this sound rational? And she's like, uh, no, and then she'll get me back on track. But yeah, I.

Gianina:

I developed. It's not always no, sometimes it's yes, it's like oh, so in the Bible it says this.

Anna:

And then I'm like oh, Gianina, I just want you to be irrational with me.

Gianina:

I have to interject in that and say that for a long time Kiley was that friend for me because I'm like the irrational one, and she was always my calm to my chaos.

Anna:

Yeah, well, think about this for a minute. We always need that right. We need that person that you know, because without it we would all just be a bunch of irrational, crazy people and we would just have a whole team of people Cause like that's another thing. Gianina knows that I'm the person that will pull up. You know, I am a very quiet, calm person, but if somebody is messing with my friend, you know like it's hard for me sometimes to step back and be like okay, this is not what I need to do. And so Gianina, she like talks me off of the off of the roof a lot and I'm thankful for that.

Anna:

So, yeah, with trust, like I actually developed something called CPTSD, which is like a complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and like it was clinically diagnosed. It took a long time for me to figure out that that's what it was and therapists and things like that, but it's basically you have the same kind of symptoms as PTSD, but it's more defined by like not being able to trust people or situations and like having negative self-beliefs and shame and dysregulation and dissociation and anxiety and depression and then suicidal ideations. Like I had all of that and it was just like this downward spiral from all those failures and I have trouble still remembering that I am not a product of those failures. And I did something called EMDR, which is kind of like I don't know if you guys ever heard of it. It's eye movement, desensitization and reprocessing, and that helped desensitize me from traumatic events and thoughts. I've learned, like, how to be self-aware so like I can go. Okay, anna, I'm being irrational right now. I know this is how I feel, but I am being irrational about it, like. It's kind of like almost looking at myself from another perspective, like I'm watching a movie of myself having these thoughts. I don't know if that makes any sense at all, but that's just a coping thing that has really worked for me. It's embarrassing to talk about, but I'm just going to talk about it.

Anna:

That kind of led to my marriage. My husband and I we ended up separating. I had a very toxic relationship with an extremely emotionally abusive person. Of course, ding ding, ding, red flag Shouldn't have done that, but can't go back.

Anna:

But he was like I think looking back now I can say that he was the savior that I was looking for. I think I was looking for someone to save me from my failures and from my hurt and from my just disappointment and grief and all those things. And he really was, really was like. He was amazing at first. He was just you know you. You know what I'm talking about. It's the person you meet. That's just all the things you've been looking for.

Anna:

And, you know, the mask fell off and he wasn't who I thought he was and I had risked everything on this person. I thought he was my savior, right Like I. I had risked my marriage and my family and all the things and I just I hated myself. And that's where, like, the ideations came around, like I just wanted to die. I was like man, this is never, this is never going to get better. And one day, something told me to go to church. There was this there's this weird charismatic church in town. I should go try, and I did with my kids, and that is where I met Jesus and that's when my journey of trusting myself began. Eventually I was able to get away from that person, physically, obviously, and then in my head and my heart. That one took a lot longer. God healed our family and it's kind of cheesy to say, but like I really didn't think that it would ever be good again. I really love my husband. He's so amazing and Don likes to call us the Anna and John 2.0.

Gianina:

I love that.

Anna:

The first version of our marriage kind of sucked especially, and so it's kind of like we got married again and even though we didn't, we should have done that, though that would have been cool, but we still can, maybe on our 20th.

Kiley:

I was going to say you're coming up, it's coming up, you know I like to plan events.

Anna:

Yes, you do. She threw me a surprise 40th birthday party and I'm hard to surprise and man she pulled it off. It was awesome.

Gianina:

It's so cool. I want to say it was very interesting kind of seeing you guys in that journey from being separated and then now where you guys are at now and I was actually initially closer friends with John because we were serving on worship team together before you had joined and I remember him just telling me things about like how amazing you are and how you guys are working through things. And then sometimes he'd be like, yeah, it's just not looking good right now, and then I would hear you and you're like I really want to love him. He's doing all the right things and he's saying all the right things and I really want to be there, but I'm just not like feeling it right now. But just to show, yes, god's faithfulness but also your obedience in that.

Gianina:

Because, even though your emotions were not there for a period of time, you still were like, okay, I know this is what God is calling us to do and I want to love him because he wants to work things out and he is treating me right and he's being an amazing husband. And it's like you kind of waited for your feelings to follow, but you were obedient and trusting God through that process your feelings to follow, but you were obedient and trusting God through that process. And so now, years later, it's really cool and encouraging to me to see that, because it's I know it wasn't. It wasn't one of those where you just woke up one day and you're like, okay, I'm going to go back to my husband, and now everything's amazing, like you really had to lean on the Lord and trust him because your heart wasn't feeling that yet lean on the Lord and trust Him, because your heart wasn't feeling that yet.

Anna:

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you did see me all through it. I forget about that. That there were so many of my friends that knew both of us when we did not speak to each other. We lived apart, we had separate lives, and that's so surreal. So, yeah, you guys got to see a total transformation of our marriage, but also of ourselves. We're both different people and really it's all God because there's no other explanation. I mean, our marriage was done. It really was, and yeah, it's crazy and just so amazing. I thank God every day for my family and for that restoration, because I don't know where I would be without John.

Kiley:

It kind of makes me wonder what is in store for you guys later on, because that whole situation that Gianina was just talking about makes me think that that was a full-on attack from the enemy, like he knew. Maybe he knew that something was coming and he was like no, I don't want this. So I'm going to do my best. And the fact that you were obedient and faithful and now you get to not to say that there's not going to be any other trials that come up, but I mean, there could have been so many blessings that you potentially could have missed out on had you just followed your emotions oh yeah, you know. So I'm glad we're friends now because I kind of you know I want to see what your story is going to be in the future.

Gianina:

Yeah, and one thing I would love for you to touch on because we haven't actually talked about this in any other podcast episode yet, but I think it's so important is the mental health aspect and how obviously you seek the Lord and you pray and you trust him, but you also went to therapy and are taking different medication or whatever that journey looks like. So if you wouldn't mind just kind of sharing a little bit about what led you to do both and not just say, okay, god's going to heal me, I'm just going to rely on him. How is that journey looking for you? Because I really think that that could help a lot of people who maybe are only relying on one thing, when God has so many resources available for us on one thing when God has so many resources available for us.

Anna:

Yeah, I mean, I think sometimes people are ashamed of taking medicine or going to therapy and maybe just in their mind and I kind of you know, I don't want to go to a shrink, this is ridiculous. Or maybe I should just pray and trust God is going to work it out. But, like, what is the story where, like, god sends a helicopter and then he sends you know what I'm talking about? It's like the guy needed help and God sends a boat and he didn't get on the boat and then God sends a helicopter and he needed to get on the helicopter and then the guy ends up not being saved and he's like, hey, God, why didn't you save me? And he's like, well, I did. I sent a helicopter and I sent a boat, and I sent this and I sent that.

Anna:

And I feel like you know, these resources are so important and it really took me a long time to find a therapist that really worked for me too. Like I think I went through like four different ones that I felt like God understood me and, ironically, the last one that I had was actually a Christian counselor, and I'm like, why didn't I do this. In the beginning he relied on scripture and things like that to talk to me, but he also did give me coping mechanisms and we talked through a lot of really cringy, awful things and I did some repenting, we did a lot of praying and things with the Lord in the room in the therapy session and it wasn't just like I was talking to someone with a degree in psychology and I think that that's really important. And then through some of those sessions he's like Anna, have you ever considered that you might have OCD? And he's like I think you might have developed this from like, of course, just like any medical situation.

Anna:

You know, sometimes when you have one thing, it develops into this Because you have high blood pressure, you're going to have this, or because you have this, you're going to have this. And so I think, just from one thing stemming into another, stemming into another, I think I developed some really bad habits, and one of them is overthinking. Just I will take a thought and then I'll put this together and put that together and then I'll put them all together and then now it's this big, monstrous thought and then it goes deeper into oh. But I remember when I was a kid and someone still told me that I was really ugly. And so because now this is happening and that's happening, oh, I must be ugly. And even though now I know that those things are irrational, that particular one didn't happen.

Anna:

But there were lots of things that I would connect irrationally and I would do it to the point where it was exhausting and I would do it in John and I you know our relationship and I would do it with this other person that was really abusive and so he knew that about me and so he would use those weaknesses to get at me. And so I think that kind of developed into realizing that OCD has a pendulum. So I don't know if anyone that's listening has suffered from anxiety, but I would like to even say that it is so common that a lot of people suffer from that and it's just like a spectrum like anything else. And so when someone has anxiety which is stemmed from OCD, like someone who obsessive, obsesses about things or thoughts, you can be anxious about it and then, because you're anxious and you don't know how to control it, so then over time you just get depressed and so the pendulum swings the other way.

Anna:

Mental health is really just a big pendulum where you're swinging from anxiety to depression, or my mental health was not all mental health, but mine was just this constant state of just fight or flight where I was just like, okay, I'm totally anxious about this situation. And then, oh no, this is never going to work because I can't fix this, and you know, and then it was just a pendulum and so I had to really like seek the Lord for guidance, and I did. You know, medication has really helped that pendulum. And you know I thought, okay, you know, if I take this medicine, I'm not going to have any emotion at all, and that's so not true. She can attest to that.

Kiley:

There used to be such a negative stigma around therapy, like, oh, you're going to a counselor, you must be this or that. And I think with COVID it hit a lot of people really hard. People were in isolation and my dad's a psychologist. I myself work for a counseling center. I do the intake, so I hear all the people's stories of what it is that they're coming in for and it really it runs the gambit. People are coming in for CPTSD and anxiety and depression, and some people just come in for general, like hey, I think therapy is just good to have so you can check in with somebody. It's not necessarily that things have to be going bad for you to do that, but I think part of it too is seeking counsel from somebody For a lot of people, if it is Christian counseling or if they need those other tools, there's something to be said about meeting with somebody else.

Kiley:

It's one thing to commune with God and tell him about your problems, but there's so much power in talking to somebody else about it and that way it gets it out. But it also holds you accountable because you have somebody else that's going to be checking in on you saying how are you doing with this. What's going on with this? I don't think that God wants us to suffer by ourselves in these things, and you're absolutely right. This is why he's given us these resources. God has blessed these people with some amazing talents to help others, and I don't think that that should be ignored just because somebody doesn't think that they need therapy or that it's taboo to do. There is a reason why God has gifted each and every one of us with a different ability, and some of them were born to be counselors, to help people just like you and me.

Gianina:

It's cool to think about a lot of times the verse that says two or three are gathered in his name. There he is in their midst. A lot of times we think that's just the church or prayer or a Christian gathering. But I mean when you have a Christian therapist or psychologist or somebody who has the Holy Spirit in them and you're meeting with them and you have the Holy Spirit inside of you, like God's going to meet you in that place and he's going to show up in that place.

Kiley:

Absolutely.

Gianina:

Wow, this has been so powerful already, but this is where we're going to pause Anna's story just for today. As you've heard, her journey through mental health and navigating family life has been powerful and deeply honest, but there's still more to her story. Next week, we'll be back with part two, where Anna opens up about walking through grief and loss and how she found hope in the midst of heartbreak. You won't want to miss it. We'll see you then.