Walk Through Podcast
The Walk Through Podcast shares authentic stories of navigating life’s valleys & victories, highlighting how we find God in the midst of every season of life. Co-hosted by Gianina and Kiley, each episode offers hope and inspirations through real, raw & faith-filled conversations.
Walk Through Podcast
When God Shows Up: A Season Finale Reflection
What happens when six women who've walked through valleys of grief, transition, and waiting gather to share their hearts? Pure gold.
In this special season finale of the Walk Through Podcast, host Kiley brings together co-host Gianina and four previous guests—Carmen, Carrie, Maggie, and Anna—for a raw, unfiltered conversation about life's unexpected turns and God's unwavering faithfulness through it all.
Carmen shares her journey ten months after losing her husband in a car accident, revealing how God has created beauty from ashes through her daughters' resilience and new opportunities to support other widows. Her story of finding peace amidst unimaginable loss demonstrates how God prepares us for trials before they even arrive.
Carrie vulnerably discusses walking away from her network marketing business of 12 years—a decision that tested her faith and revealed the true cost of obedience. Her powerful testimony reminds us that sometimes the most faithful act is simply letting go of what we love most when God asks.
The conversation takes a joyful turn when Maggie announces her recent engagement! After years as a single mom, God brought someone into her life who exceeds every prayer request—including details she never thought to ask for, like his profession as an occupational therapist who can help her special-needs son.
Anna reveals how she's reviving her fitness studio following her mother's death, transforming what once represented failure into ministry. Her story beautifully illustrates how God gives strength we didn't know we needed and repurposes our pain.
The women dive deep into forgiveness, sharing wisdom about releasing burdens that were never ours to carry and trusting God's sovereignty even when we don't understand His timing.
This episode isn't just a recap—it's a powerful reminder that our stories matter, our vulnerability connects us, and God works through every valley, every breakthrough, and every middle moment for His glory. Join us for this moving conclusion to a season of walking through life together.
Welcome back, friends, to a very special episode of the Walkthrough Podcast, our season finale recap night. I'm Gianina and I'm here with some incredible women who have walked alongside us in this season Kiley, my co-host, and our amazing guests tonight are Carrie, Maggie, Carmen and Anna. This season, we've walked through valleys, celebrated moments of breakthrough, wrestled with waiting, grief, healing and trust all with honesty, vulnerability and the hope of God's presence in the middle of it all. Tonight we're gathering to reflect, laugh, cry maybe just a little and revisit some of the most powerful moments that shaped this season. So grab your tea, get cozy and join us for this sweet time together.
Gianina:Well, ladies, I'm super excited to have you guys on and this has been something that Kiley and I talked about since the beginning of our podcast just to be able to have this like girls night and just chat and catch up, time where it's maybe a little bit less structured and we can just share our hearts. So I'm really excited to hear from all of you guys. So, hello, hello, hi. Well, I would love to just start with connecting with you guys and seeing if there are any updates since your episode, because I know for several of you guys it's been a few months, or at least a couple months, since your episode. So I know we do have some major updates since we've recorded and I'm excited to get into that. But I would love to start with you, carmen, if you wouldn't mind sharing just any updates since your episode, and we'd love to connect with you on that.
Carmen:Okay, well, I'm just going to say thank you so much for inviting me back. I just feel so honored and blessed to be a part of this amazing podcast and I have gotten so much beautiful feedback on people who have listened to the podcast and said how much it touched their lives. So I recorded my episode about five months after my husband passed away in a car accident, and so now we are at 10 months and just looking back, I can say we've celebrated my birthday, we've celebrated both of my daughter's birthdays, we've celebrated Scott's birthday and now we are coming up on Father's Day. So if y'all would just keep us in your prayers for that, it's just been so beautiful just to see how resilient my teenage daughters have been, and people ask me all the time how are your girls doing? And I'm just like there must be so many people praying for us because, man, if I wasn't their mama and I didn't know, I wouldn't know that these girls are grieving. They're just so full of life and just joy and wanting to volunteer at church and spend time with their friends, and it's just so beautiful to see the Lord working in and through their lives, and I think my daughter, her small group leader told me that there are five other girls in her small group who have also lost parents. So just to have that many girls under the same roof in the same church, I know that that is God ordained, and so it's so beautiful to see that the Lord is using Molly in that way.
Carmen:One of the things that I've noticed in the past few months is I've had several people approaching me letting me know that, hey, I have a friend who unexpectedly lost her husband. Can I connect y'all? And so that's something that I really didn't foresee, I guess, this early in my grief journey, and so my answer is always absolutely, because I know, as hard as this journey has been, that the Lord has a purpose for it and he is going to get the glory from it, and I've already been able to see so much beauty from ashes, even in just 10 months, and so I'm just so grateful that I'm able to point people back to Him and to find those silver linings. Amidst the storm and amidst the chaos. You know, I still have this incredible just peace that I can't understand, I can't explain it. I just I have this peace and it's so, it's a gift, and I'm so grateful for that.
Gianina:That's awesome.
Carmen:What do?
Gianina:you think has made the biggest difference with your girls? Like, do you? Obviously we know that it's God's grace, but do you feel like there's anything specific that you've done or that they've done or other people have done for them that have really helped?
Carmen:them, I think, just our church community. Honestly, I don't know how people get through something like this without their church home, because they want to be there, they want to be around, you know, like-minded friends. They want to be around people who are pouring into them and loving on them and, I think, just speaking life over them.
Gianina:It's really really good. That's awesome.
Kiley:Are you still in connection with the church that your husband was going to?
Carmen:That wasn't in Arkansas. So the pastor and I are Facebook friends. I'm friends with him and his wife and they're actually expecting another baby. It's been so fun just to you know, just stay connected with them in that way, yeah, and just kind of follow up with each other and check in on each other every once in a while. It was sweet.
Gianina:Well, thank you so much for sharing, carmen. I love seeing your updates and just how God is working in your guys' lives, even in the midst of the awful and insane and beautiful and healing year that you have had. So it's cool to just see those updates so awesome. Well, thank you, Carrie hello, I'm so glad that you were able to hop on today and you look beautiful, of course but I would love to just chat with you and kind of see what some of the updates are, since we had your episode.
Carrie:Well, I am on a pause from my biblical counseling school that I've been going to. We had a mid semester break for a few weeks, so that's been nice. I had a lot of different discipleship things that kind of were all going at the same time but they all crescendoed and I was just telling my husband last night. It's just been really nice to have just a few things that I've got my hands to right now and I'm just savoring the break because school starts back up here in another week, so I've been grateful for that.
Carrie:Another huge update for me we didn't talk about this much on the podcast but after a lot of prayer I had to step away from my network marketing business after 12 and a half years and that was a really hard thing to process and walk out and there was a lot of fear there about how it would be perceived and processed by peers and things like that.
Carrie:And one of the things I know many of you are a part of network marketing and one of the things that I've seen happen is people who treat you differently when you're no longer part of the culture or the family, and so I had a lot of fear around that and some of it was realized for how I was treated, and then some people have just been amazing and gracious. Sorry, it's just been such a part of my life for so long and I really invested at a high capacity because that's who I am. I care deeply about people. But God is good and he's just given me tremendous peace and comfort and I just know that, as hard as it is Ben to walk away, I just know that he has me and I did the right thing and, above all, obedience to him was the most important thing.
Gianina:So yeah, it's hard when you have something that's such a big part of your life, and even the podcast episode that we released this last week, we talked with someone about kind of losing your identity when you leave a job or when you leave a business, and it's hard when something like that is such a big part of your identity.
Gianina:Also, it's a big part of your friends group and it's a big part of your community and it's just a big part of your everyday life, and so it's definitely something that I could see grieving, even if, like someone's like well, it wasn't a person that you lost, you know, but it's still a part of you and something that.
Gianina:And I just want to say, as somebody who's like in that same culture with you, that I want to honor your decision and your obedience and how beautiful it's been for me to just watch you walk through what the Lord has called you to do, because I mean, I know your passion for it and I know your heart for it and I know how much you poured into it and your wisdom. Like you're somebody I've always asked questions and you have so much wisdom in that, and so I know it wasn't an easy decision for you and I know how prayerful it was, because we've had conversations about that and I just want to honor your obedience in that, because it wasn't something where you were like you know what, this just isn't going well and so I'm going to quit. It wasn't that at all, and so it was hard, and it's hard to walk away when God is telling you to let go of something that you love. So, yeah, I just your obedience has been really beautiful to watch and that is hard, as that is, yeah, for sure.
Kiley:I'm sorry that you're having to deal with some of the negative effects of that too. I think that's what makes it harder, because that is such a the events and the community that you have, and then to have to walk away and realize that maybe it was it was just because you were involved with that.
Carrie:That's really hard, I'm sorry something that a lot of people don't understand, and so that was one of my fears and I just really felt like the Lord just kept saying do you love me? Do you trust me? And the answer was I thought, yes, right, but still that fear was there that held me back for trusting him and his guiding and his leading, especially when it's been such an impactful thing, like the lives that I have been able to impact in the community. That's there, and when God asks you to do something that I always thought. You know. I'm board certified in holistic health. Health is just. I love helping people.
Carrie:I had been sick for a long time. I got better and I love helping, took my pain into my purpose, right. So I always thought it was going to be my calling with this company, and when the Lord asked me to lay it down, it took a lot to surrender what I thought would have been something readily that I would have trusted him with. But once I finally got to that place, I just knew that I have one person to answer to, and that's my heavenly father, and none of these other people are going to live a life of disobedience with me, right, and what that looks like, and I don't want to be in disobedience to him. And so it was more important to have a collateral damage to that obedience and know that if I'm standing before him six hours from that decision, and know that if I'm standing before him six hours from that decision, that I'm standing in front of him in that obedience rather than you know the fear of man right, and which so many of us have it's you don't realize how much you know what you talked about.
Carrie:Your identity. That's a fear. You know. When our identity becomes in other people and circumstances instead of in christ, it's not rooted in the right thing and then that foundation is just it'll fall void. So it's just been a huge life lesson about how to just trust him and just be completely obedient, and so I'm thankful he finally got me there, because it was hard. I wrestled with him for sure.
Gianina:Yeah, I wanted to share. This is a little bit different, but I was serving on our worship team at church for several years and that was something that I'd done since I was in high school and middle school. Anytime that I served in church it was always in the capacity of worship or serving with youth. And this year I stepped down from serving in our youth and then it was a huge wrestle, like Anna can attest to this. I really fought with stepping down from worship, even though I felt the Lord nudging me to let go of that, and a big fear for me with that was this is how I've served God and I was afraid that if I let it go I would lose that purpose of how am I going to give back and serve God when I'm not leading worship? Because that's all I've ever done.
Gianina:And obviously I've served God in other ways, but I just mean in the church, in the capacity that I've served him was through worship and serving on the worship team, and so stepping down from that was really, really hard, and I don't think people realize how hard it is to let go of something that you love Like you actively love it. You wanna continue doing it, but God's asking you to obey, and something that I have found since letting that go is God has just shown me in such a beautiful way, number one, that he doesn't need me to serve in a certain capacity for Him to be glorified and for Him to be honored. And I mean this is the perfect example. You know, we record most of our podcast episodes on a Thursday night and our worship team rehearsals are on Thursday nights, and if I would have done worship team, I wouldn't probably be able to record these podcast episodes. Another one is leading small group.
Gianina:I lead a small group now on Wednesday nights, which is the same nights as our youth group, and so now I'm able to have an impact in that way, and God has just been taking me deeper with studying the word and being able to pour myself into that. And so I know you said you know this is a passion of mine, and health being a passion of yours, and I'm just excited to see how God is going to use that passion and the gifts that he's given you, like in something that you laid down, he's given you, like in something that you laid down he's gonna give it back in a different way. You know, I thought God's not gonna use my voice anymore, and now he's using my voice in a different way, and so it's just gonna. I'm excited to see what that's gonna be, and so I just wanted to encourage you with that too.
Carrie:Thank you, I love that.
Carmen:That's a great, great analogy. Carrie, I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you're going through some of that, but sorry you're stuck with me for life. I'm not going anywhere.
Carrie:Thank you I love you. Love you.
Gianina:For sure. I'm so grateful for the relationship that we've built, so thank you Awesome. Well, we have another life update from someone who, like you know. It's funny because it wasn't even that long ago that we had your podcast episode, but we have a major life update. So I am really excited for this, Maggie, If you wouldn't mind just kind of sharing what's been happening in your life, and I really hope that we get some like secret inside scoop that nobody else has heard before.
Maggie:Okay, so your girl got engaged? Yes, I have been engaged for like I think two weeks now. I think today makes two weeks Kind of been a whirlwind, given my story I don't know if you listen, know if those of you here listen to the podcast, but given my story and then just how I share authentically about our journey on social media, I knew so many people would be excited for me and for my family. But I have been overwhelmed and inundated with just so much love and so many people that I didn't know were praying for me, that would message me and they would say, like people that are more like acquaintances than you know, than anything, and they're like you have no idea how much I've prayed for you about this and, um, you know, to God be the glory and I so I was dating him when we did the podcast and I was not obviously sharing that because I have been like in the dating world for like eight years well, maybe less, but I've been divorced this month makes eight years and kind of the dating world, the past six to seven years and I've just sifted through so much and I had gotten to the point where I was like you know what I had dated a guy for like over a year. I thought we were going to get engaged. All the things looked at rings and I was like I'm not sharing another man on social media until I have a ring on my finger and I just I kept it close and I even him as a person. I had several friends walking closely with me through dating him and seeking counsel with them.
Maggie:Because even when you do so so much healing outside of a relationship and I know, janina, I know you can relate to this, I don't know about anybody else, but there's a lot of healing that has to come when you're actually in the relationship. Like it's it's all fun and games in the classroom, but it's something else when you're actually on the job, you're at the job site, you're in like you're having to show up wherever you're at. So it's it's one thing to to learn and and grow and sponge up, but it's another thing to actually go to like live it out when it comes to relationships. And so, uh, yeah, um. So we met on a dating app which, you know, go figure, whatever and we've only been dating for like a few months, but the Lord was really evident, um, in the beginning, with some things and just our values aligning. And when you get two people together that they you know, they know who they are, they know what they want, you can move forward with so much clarity.
Maggie:And he has been like a walking green flag in my life and in my kids' lives, but even from the beginning, just taking so much stress off of me and being such a blessing to me and my kids. He's actually out there right now. My kids got back from a time with their dad and he missed them and so he came over and he's out there cooking them supper so I could be in here recording with you guys. And so he's just showed up in our lives and has been nothing but a blessing and takes such good care of me and my kids. And he's an occupational therapist, which I've had.
Maggie:So many people say, well, look at God, because my son's disabled. My son is disabled and and he gives me free therapy all the time with my jacked up shoulder. I've been having shoulder issues for like a year, but just recently, like maybe a few weeks ago, he looked my fiance's name is Michael, I read to my son was on the couch and he kind of looked over at Michael and he goes, michael, will you work on my back? And he just starts working on his back, and so I just feel so blessed for just things that I didn't even ask for.
Maggie:And I know that when we're in a dark place and we're desperate, we get to that place. I'm sure y'all know what I'm talking about, where you're just like I know I got to pray, but I don't know what I got to pray for. I would be praying at times, lord, I know I tell you what I want, but give me what I need, because maybe I'm asking for the wrong thing here. And just how he has he meets so many of the things that I've been looking for. But then exceedingly and abundantly above and beyond and I just I mean the detail of an occupational therapist who can help my son and obviously me, because it's hard on me to listen and stuff but that's a detail that I did not put into the prayer quest.
Maggie:Okay, I did not slide that across the table to the Lord, and so it's just been very, very surreal so many times we pray for something and we believe God can do it, but we still lack so much faith and there's still kind of a it's never going to happen in the back of our heads, you know, and so it's here, it's now and it's just so many things moving and I just feel so incredibly blessed and excited and that was just basically how we got together. For a little bit there I was just telling my kids that we met at a coffee shop, which was our first date was at a coffee shop. But my little eight year old looked at me a few weeks ago, dead in the eye. She goes mom, do y'all meet on a dating app? Like how did you know about that?
Maggie:But you know, kids can learn a lot these days, especially with like little TV shows and stuff where you know if it's like a Disney show or whatever and they're talking about their parents, things like that. Like she was just like give me that dating app.
Kiley:I feel like that's the only way to meet people these days, because everybody's just on their phone. I hear so many stories about just you can't talk to people normally, like you used to, if you're just meeting them out in the wild, essentially and I had done some of that too.
Maggie:I had approached um some men in my circles, whether at church or um even in my connections, and I put myself out there in so many different ways and um and that was actually one of the prayers the Lord answered was, even though I had been doing so much healing and trying not to earn love, there was still this part of me that was like trying to go well, you know what I'm a woman Like. We can show interest too. We can put ourselves out there Still probably putting yourself out there, by the way, but it's really refreshing because I prayed Lord, I want my future husband to know when he sees me, to know me, to not need convincing and to lead this relationship. And Michael has done that from the very beginning. And so just so many details that I can't remember at the moment. But just awesome, that's really cool.
Gianina:What was the first thing you liked about him that you were like okay, I like this person?
Maggie:When I think we okay. So we chatted for like a week text phone before we had our first in-person date. I feel really silly saying all of this, because I'm the kind of person that sees the good in people and I'll also like gaslight myself and be like, well, this isn't that big of a deal. You know, hey, jesus forgives. Like you know, I obviously weren't going with this Like I would be giving. Sometimes I would be giving guys who were good guys chances that they didn't need to have because of who I am as a person and the places the Lord has me on track to go, and so it doesn't mean they're bad people, it just means we don't align In the first few days.
Maggie:I'll never forget like learning, like he's basically like a Renaissance man, he can do everything. But I remember every time I learned something about him, like in my mind and even with some of my friends, I kept saying over and over he could be really good for me, this guy can be really good for me. He has his life together and that sounds so silly, but he's just very smart and emotionally intelligent and he just there just wasn't any red flags. So that was the biggest thing that I liked about him was like oh, he is actually a really good contender and I don't have to make excuses for anything that's going on in his life.
Maggie:May sound really silly, but like that's just kind of where I had been, because I it felt like at times it felt like I was asking for too much. So when you finally meet someone that has their life together, loves the Lord, can communicate and wants you and your children, like it's kind of like well, this is new, but apart from that, he is so kind and so loving and he thinks kind of the way I think, so he's constantly carrying part of my mental load and taking things off my plate and allowing me to just not be so stressed out all the time. And I know that may sound selfish, but that's really what I needed in my life and he is very he's a. He's a, he's a giver, he's a caregiver and he has a lot of empathy for others. That's so cool. I he has a lot of empathy for others.
Gianina:That's so cool. I'm very excited for you because obviously I've known you for a long time and we were both like the single mamas of our group and so it's just been really cool to watch your journey and just see the Lord work, and I love that's a lesson we can all learn about the prayer request of even the things that I don't know to ask for. I need it, lord. Let that be for me, so that's really cool.
Carmen:And congratulations. Thank you so much, it's awesome.
Gianina:Well, anna, I know you have some exciting life updates too, but I know that your episode is one that touched a lot of people and really all of these I mean we've had so much positive feedback and all of you ladies are so wise and every episode that we've had, I told Kylie I'm like I don't know how we get these people. This is so good and it's great because I think for a long time and even our first episode that we recorded, we were like we want to have a platform where we can share other people's stories and we can walk through life with other people, and one thing I didn't anticipate is how much God was going to speak to me through each of you guys and how much I was going to learn through this, and so it's just been really great. So I wanted to say thank you and your episode two even though we're like BFFs and are together all the time, I feel like I learned so much. So I would love to hear from you and any life updates you want to share.
Anna:Well, I did get some feedback and people that I I guess that I didn't even know, maybe like acquaintances or I think people that knew you but then knew me through you, sent me some messages and just told me that you know they really appreciated the vulnerability of that episode and just from speaking out about some embarrassing things, like even just mental health things you know that's embarrassing sometimes too I don't know it can be perceived as a weakness when you talk about. You know your struggles and I have learned that vulnerability is really just a superpower. I know my sister will say, anna, you don't have to tell all of that. I'm like, yes, I do, because you never know what I do kind of overshare sometimes, but even then you never know like they could be going through the same thing.
Anna:My mom we talked about my mom. She passed away in February and she was my best friend. We've been so close all of my life and she was a big supporter of my. I had a business and in this business she was she pretty much was. I don't know, I guess she was financially helped me get the studio at the time, just because I didn't have any credit, and she helped me with that and she really loved the studio, which is a fitness studio. It's a group fitness place where all people but it's mostly women, if I'm being honest, because men typically don't work out in group classes but where people can go and have a space to be together and not be intimidated with each other and just work out and hold each other accountable and hold each other accountable. My mom loved that and she was a cheerleader for anything I did. Like if I said, hey, I want to go to Mars, she'd be like, okay, and so she was a big supporter of that. And so I've had this studio and it's just kind of been after the 2020, you know, year of chaos. It pretty much just never recovered and so it's kind of just been hanging there, this studio, and it represented failure and it represented at the time, you know, my marriage was kind of in shambles in that period of time as well. So that place, even though it didn't necessarily mean failure, it just, I guess it was kind of like that sore that for some reason, just screamed failure.
Anna:And so after she passed away and after we got all of all the things settled which was pretty recent we finally got it in my name and we thought about selling it, we thought about renting it, but I just had this. I think I even mentioned this. I didn't really know what to do with it when I just saw, okay, I don't want to make any crazy decisions, I'm just going to wait for the Lord and he sent me this nice man. He is a martial arts instructor and he was needing a place to have his lessons and his personal training and I was like, okay, I think this is it, this is what we're supposed to do. And so I have recently just been renovating it and trying to get classes going again and it has been so fulfilling to give a facelift to the studio and I really feel like mom would be so happy that I am starting it back up again.
Anna:And she was always in my classes. I mean, she was always in the back and always so excited to come the first class that I taught. It was hard. During the class it wasn't hard, but like after class, after everyone left, it was so overwhelming because I knew she would be there helping me clean up, you know. But it was great and I've taught three classes since then and it's been helpful because it's a small group through my church and so all the ladies in that group knew that and so they prayed for me and it's just been such a great transition and now it doesn't really feel so much like a failure anymore. It kind of feels like I don't know like a push. It was something that I had to go through, but now it's over and this business is not it never really was supposed to be the business that I intended, and I really feel like it was always a ministry.
Anna:Even though I do have to pay the bills, I can see the other side of it. I can see how it is affecting my community and the women that are part of it. And, like the jujitsu it's so hard to say that word instructor, the name of his group is Disciple Jujitsu, and I love like his approach to martial arts, like the discipleship of it. That's not really something you think about in jujitsu, but it is. His approach to it is so amazing and I really feel like this is God saying, hey, this is what we've been waiting for. And so I feel like I'm on go. I'm so excited. I have all these ideas and these dreams and these thoughts about it and my mind just can't slow down with all the things that we could do. I'm like, let's have a Bible study, let's have a painting class, let's do this, let's do that. And I'm like, okay, I gotta slow down.
Gianina:I love that and honestly, like your small group. I mean, I think I was helping out with the small group signups and everybody wanted to sign up for that group. It was like the most signed up for, and so it's really cool, just to. I think that was for me. When I looked at that, I was like there's a need and there's a want here, you know, because people were excited about it.
Anna:I think that was the nod. I was like, okay, this is God telling. I think you even said that. I think you told me I almost feel like you told me, like when we were talking about this small group that you were like I feel like this could be what God is telling you to do, and I was like I don't know. And then, sure enough, it's just kind of naturally happened since the small group and I can see that it's okay to teach classes again and it's okay to do this and to do it without my mom, cause, listen, it's hard to do, it's hard to live, to go on living without your person, you know, without making decisions, without my mom.
Anna:I know I'm 40, but like I still need my mom and I don't have that. I don't have that person that I can call and be like okay, like right now I'm struggling on some business parts of it, like how much should I charge for this, how much should I charge for that? And you know, my mom would be the person that I would be like, hey, mom, what do you think? And she would be like well, I think this and this and this and this, and I don't have that.
Anna:And then you know, like even paint colors, like I was painting in the studio and I was telling my son, I was like you know who would be here telling me exactly how to do this? It would be my mom and she would be telling me, bossing me around about it. But it's all great and I feel like there's Iris. I think it's great and I feel this strength, I guess is what I should say. I feel like God has given me some strength when I felt like I didn't have it after mom died, and so, yeah, it's been a great update.
Gianina:I think it's a lot of times we think about and it's so funny I mean, I think we're all kind of around the same age in here and it's so funny when you're at this age and you're like what's my purpose, like what am I supposed to be doing with my life? And these are questions that you think you would have at 18, 19, and 20. But I feel like I feel it even more now than I did at that age, and maybe it's because now I'm like, okay, I'm probably getting closer to the second half of my life and I really want to make sure that this is impactful. And then I'm doing what the Lord wants me to. And I think, just like listening to your story and what you shared it reminds me of.
Gianina:I heard someone say if you want to know your purpose, just do the next thing that God's asking you to do. Was it you, carrie? Is this your book? I think this is your book. Do the next thing at the best of your ability and then like the next thing after that to the best of your ability and then the next thing after that to the next of your ability. I feel like I read that in your book or your podcast, one of the two.
Maggie:I think knowing what we're going to do with our lives at such a young age and sticking with it forever is like the silliest thing that we probably like. Keeps the younger generations and I agree, like the Lord can make so many changes all the time and renewed purpose and a different pivot, a different direction. I think there's so much beauty in that. Yeah, it's really cool.
Kiley:I think that's so true, because as we grow, even our bodies change, so why would it be natural for everything else to stay the same? So that's a good point.
Gianina:I like that yeah me too, because we put so much pressure on that and then we feel like we failed if we give something up. I remember having that thought when for the longest time I thought I was going to move to DC and be in politics, like that was my thing. And then I was like okay, I'm going to move to California. And I really felt like with all my heart that God was asking me to move to California. And then I stayed in California for like six months and then moved to Tennessee and I was like did I fail? Did I not listen to God? Like did I not fulfill the dream that he had for me? And I just remember God saying just because you didn't stay doesn't mean I didn't ask you to do those things. Like, maybe I was just wanting to see your obedience and wanting to see if you would take chances and follow me and listen to my voice. So just because you quote unquote failed in your own eyes doesn't mean you weren't being obedient to me.
Maggie:What if I love that? Like? What if we asked ourselves, instead of saying did I fail or did I succeed? What if we pivoted and said did I learn, did I grow, did I change, have I succeed? What if we pivoted and said did I learn, did I grow, did I change, have I become a better human? Like it would totally change our perspective on how we view ourselves and the things we're trying to do or thinking about trying to do.
Gianina:Yeah, or even what Carrie said was I obedient? I mean just that question. Was I obedient? And I know, carrie, when we had your episode, one of the things you talked a lot about is just hearing that well done, good and faithful servant. And I think if we gauged more of our decisions and our successes and failures on what God say well done, good and faithful servant.
Carrie:In this situation, yeah, whether it's six hours from now or six months from now or six years, that's really how you reverse engineer your life. There is no failure if you're focused on the Father and what he has for you right. It's just a real intentional way to live your life right and not get caught in the weeds about did I do that wrong or could I have done it better? Like, just focus on him right, focus on the end goal, that end conversation, and make it about him and what he wants for you instead of so much of our lives are lived around what we think we want or need versus what he desires for our lives.
Gianina:Yeah, for sure, it's so good.
Kiley:I wanted to find out, not necessarily through this podcast, but has there been any unexpected blessings or things that you have learned from sharing your story? Have you heard about how it maybe has impacted other people? Or and again, not specific to our podcast, but because I know that some of you have shared your story on other platforms but what has been one of the biggest blessings that you can think of from that?
Maggie:I don't know if I would call this the biggest blessing, but I do think that one of my friends we're special needs moms together and she messaged me a few months ago and she was like I'm speaking at a caregiver retreat in San Antonio, texas, in May, I can bring guests for free. You can stay in my hotel room, come out, be there and just enjoy, and I had never, ever been to a caregiver retreat before. So while we're there mid-May, she would listen to the podcast with you guys. I had no clue and I don't remember her exact words, but she said something like have you thought anymore about doing a podcast or something? It was something to that effect. And I looked at her, just thought about it before and in that moment, like she just challenged me and I think that the two of us are actually going to talk tomorrow. We're meeting tomorrow over the phone to discuss starting our own podcast as disability mamas and and so which I've had.
Maggie:I got a ton of good feedback from the podcast itself, but to me it was encouraging to spend time with her and hear her perspective, because when we're talking and sharing and we're bragging on God and sharing our testimonies, other people are seeing the glory and we forget the glory and we forget the purpose sometimes, because we get lost in the middle of the story and they're reminding us hey, this is what you're meant to do. X, y, z. You need to go, step into that, you need to move forward, you need to take action on that, and I feel like that was a blessing for myself personally to be reminded of this is the path you're supposed to go on, and that was encouraging to me.
Gianina:That's awesome. I vote yes for a podcast. If my vote counts, I vote yes.
Kiley:Well and I think it reminded me so, janina, when you and I did our pilot episode to talk about the reason why we wanted to do this podcast. I feel like there's so many people that don't want to share their story because they don't think that other people are going to find any importance in it, or it's just me Nobody's going to care. But I think when you start to share your stories again, people come out of the woodworks because they can relate to it, and I think people just need to know that they're not alone in dealing with those certain struggles that they have. And so I know, maggie, you probably didn't think much of it and then you're starting to hear like maybe, maybe we do need to do this, because maybe people do need to hear our stories. So that's great, that would be awesome it ends up being in vain.
Carrie:Right, keep it to your right here, right, and that's not like God asked us to go through those things so that he is glorified. And so if we never speak of that right, then we're holding back the opportunity that what we're put on here you know here to do. I mean, it's very cathartic and healing to walk out like every day, right, just as God sanctifies us and grows us, he allows these challenges to draw us closer to him, that we know him and trust him and are faithful to him and what he has for us, right? So it actually it's a core part of being a disciple is to share your story, like you should always be prepared the Bible says to always be prepared to give a statement of your faith, right? Well, it's not just why you believe it, but it's what you're walking out. That is part of the story. It, but it's what you're walking out. That is part of the story.
Carrie:And we all go through different seasons of life, seasons of stories, seasons of being used for God's glory, and we should always be prepared to connect with people, because the one thing that the enemy wants us to believe is that we're alone. You're the only one, maggie, that is walking this out. You're the only one, kylie, that's going through this. You're the only widow, carmen. You're the only one. And that's a lie and that isolates us. But when we're vulnerable and we're honest and authentic and share that vulnerability, actually connects us to people, because the truth is that there are so many people out there that need that.
Carrie:God saw us through whatever it was. God saw us through so many things in our lives, wherever far we've come, so it really is the core of what we're supposed to do. And even when I went to write my book, the enemy was like there's nobody that's going to read this, there's nobody that's going to care. Like nobody. And and I just had to really fight through that and I think so, if we can get to a place where we're like Lord, who, who can, who can I offer hope to through what you've brought me through right, because if we're still here, living and breathing, he's brought us through something. And more often than not, every single day is an opportunity for a new story of how God uses us. And just know that God desires to use you and your stories not just stories, but plural like it's an ongoing process. Our sanctification is a story that gives other people hope. It's an ongoing process.
Gianina:Our sanctification is a story that gives other people hope. That's so good. I think sometimes we get so used to what we've walked through that we forget. It's kind of like what you were saying, maggie we forget how much of a story we have. You know, we forget that the impact that God has had and I don't know, because I even get through that sometimes where it's like, well, this is just my normal life. Or, kylie, like when you shared your story and you're like I just grew up, I was always saved. I don't have this crazy testimony and it's like that in itself is such a testimony. We forget that sometimes, and so that's really cool. Just to, I think, just get in the habit of always asking, like Carrie said, god, who do you want me to reach today? Where do you want me to make an impact today? Because there are people out there that need it. So what about you, carmen? I know you had a ton, a ton of feedback after your episode, so I'd love to hear some of like the unexpected blessings from that.
Carmen:Absolutely. It was crazy. I even had strangers reaching out to me on Instagram that were like, hey, I heard the podcast and it really touched me and I was just like my goodness, like I had no idea that there were, you know, other widows out there who were going to come across my story and it was going to impact their lives. So I'm just so grateful for all the little blessings because I feel like for so long in my marriage you know we were together almost 20 years I was striving to be this Proverbs 31 wife and really just fighting for my marriage and I'm so grateful that the Lord did answer my prayers. You know, my husband did go to rehab. Our marriage was restored. We got to go. You know, this beautiful honeymoon. He restored his relationship with our daughters before the Lord took him in such a beautiful way. And yet here I am, you know, 10 months after he's gone to be with the Lord and I'm like questioning, like Lord, why, why did you have me striving for so long to be this Proverbs 31 wife only to take my husband? And as I was wrestling with that, I, you know, I believe the Lord does want you to lament and to cry out to him whenever you're struggling with those thoughts.
Carmen:I was asked by my church to help recently with a family who the husband is needing a kidney transplant, and so they were like, hey, carmen, just something small, carmen, can you help with the graphics? And I was like, absolutely, and as I'm learning about, like what's going on, I'm like okay, do y'all have spreadsheets? Have you made phone calls Like do we have this? And all of a sudden y'all it was like the grief fog lifted and I had been asking God, like why is this fog on my brain? Like I feel like I'm going to be stuck in this forever. And all of a sudden, just like every it was, I was me again, and you know this fundraiser that we thought we were going to raise like $3,000 or $4,000. Ended up raising over $16,000. And as I went to the bank and I pulled all this money out, I heard the Lord speak over me. You are a Proverbs 31 woman. Because of who you are in me, it doesn't have anything to do with your husband, and so I was just so grateful for that that he revealed that to me that he is still going to use me to multiply everything that I touch, because he knows that I'm going to give him the glory for it.
Carmen:Yeah, that's so good that was just such a beautiful reminder to you know, keep digging into his word and to just keep acknowledging his nearness, because he is near to the brokenhearted and I'm so grateful to be able to be a witness to that.
Gianina:That's so good, so good, yeah, well, I think one of the questions that we had when we announced that we were doing this episode is about forgiveness, about forgiveness, and the question came up about how do we forgive people that have hurt others, like on behalf of others.
Gianina:And we actually had this conversation in a group of women that I went to a conference with them and specifically what we were talking about was, you know, sometimes like these mega celebrity pastors or different people, and like the most recent thing I've seen that's happened obviously is with Michael Tate that has been in the media and how he has hurt other people and just we see the impact of pain, especially in the church, and I think that's so tragic when we see that. And this question was really about how do we forgive people on behalf of others when they've been wronged. And I know, carmen, you mentioned in your story about your friend growing up that was killed by a drunk driver, and I would just love to hear from you and anyone else who would like to add into this. But if you would like to get it started, just about how you forgive, I mean really how you forgive period, and then how you can forgive on behalf of others as well.
Carmen:Well, gosh, I just want to say we know that the Bible says that the Lord won't forgive us unless we forgive others. There's nothing in there about forgetting. I just want to take it back, like you're saying, to my story. So I didn't get to share this, but part of my testimony really is that one day Scott and I had started going back to church and in our marriage we had not been going to church, and when I was probably in my 20s I had decided that, because God took my best friend, I was so immature in my faith, I was so mad at God. I was like you know what I'm done living in obedience. Why am I going to be obedient to you if you took the best thing, the best person that I've ever known? I was so mad at God and for so many years I walked in disobedience because I was angry with Him. And thankfully I ended up going back to church. I started doing my first Bible study. I'd never done that before and one day I'll never forget, I was in my car listening to the local Christian radio station and Matthew West was in town and he was doing a concert on his new album. Every song on that album somebody wrote in their stories and he turned those stories into songs and so he started talking about this song that he wrote and he said a mom wrote in and told me that her daughter and her best friend were driving home from the beach one night and they were killed by a drunk driver. And I remember thinking that sounds like my Lisa, that sounds like my story. So, you know, I turned it up and I started paying attention, and so he started talking about how the families ended up going to the judge and asking the judge to release the prisoner because he ended up turning his life to Christ. Wow. And then they said that the woman who wrote in her name was Renee Napier. And I was like I was driving and this was like before you know, you had Google on your phone and I was like I have to get to a computer. And so I did. I got to work and I Googled this Matthew West song called Forgiveness. And y'all, for the first time since my best friend had been killed, I saw the face of this drunk driver and I read the story of my Lisa and how Matthew West wrote a song called Forgiveness about this prisoner that was set free.
Carmen:Renee Napier is the mom of Megan Napier, and her and Lisa Dixon were in the car together. So both of them were killed and their families went to the judge and instead of Eric Smallridge serving his 20-plus year sentence, he only served 11 years. And how powerful is that that they lost their daughters and they were able to offer this man who killed their daughters forgiveness so much, in fact, that now they go around and they go and talk to kids about the dangers of drinking and driving. And that is now like Eric's life's purpose is going to tell others his testimony of how that decision he made. He was just going to the bar like he did every weekend. It was just his normal routine to go to the bar and drink and drive home. It was his normal range of drinking. It wasn't a crazy night, it was just his normal. He wasn't invincible and because of that choice he took two precious young lives.
Carmen:And so it took me, hearing that story, to realize that I had never forgiven God.
Carmen:As silly as that sounds, I had never said God, I'm so sorry for turning my back on you.
Carmen:And also I was able to see how this song of forgiveness on social media was.
Carmen:There was story after story after story of people saying I heard this song and it made me realize I needed to forgive someone. So it just absolutely just blew my mind that I was like, wow, god, like you had a purpose in this. You had a purpose for my pain. You didn't take my best friend in vain. You didn't take her because you were being mean. You took her because you had a plan and it was for your glory. And so I think that because I was able to walk through that painful loss with my best friend and then being able to hear the story of forgiveness when he took my husband, I knew I knew that he had a plan, I knew that it was not in vain and I knew that he was going to get the glory for it since day one. And so I'm so grateful that he prepared my heart in that way and I'm just so grateful for him. So if you know, a mama can forgive a drunk driver, I think that we can also offer forgiveness for people in our lives who have hurt us.
Gianina:So good, Carrie. What are your thoughts on forgiveness?
Carrie:I think, well, I believe everything is under God's sovereignty, right, and I think we place ourselves in a place of deity. When we have a fence for other people, that's good. That's not an authority we're supposed to have, it's God's authority, I mean. So when hard things happen, when crisis or malicious, nefarious behavior happens, still under God's authority, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, but a place for us to live is not behind bars, and that's really where we live. When we have that offense for ourselves or for other people is we're the ones that are locked up. Right, it's like we're mad, we're angry, but where to turn? That there is no place to turn, that it's what God allowed. It's all under his sovereignty.
Carrie:As hard as that is to process, it's still the reality of it and we have to see ourselves in the same light and mercy that God sees us. We are not these perfect people who are walking around, who don't. We've offended people, we're offensive, we've hurt people, and so it's not a place that God desires. You have to ask yourself is this a state of heart that God desires me to live in? And forgiveness, like Carmen said, it's not biblical. We have to seek that and it's as hard as it is and to hold on to something for someone else that belongs at the cross, that belongs at the feet of Jesus. It's not our cross to bear. It's not for us to have, not a burden for us to carry. It's such a heavy lift that we were never created to have or carry or hold. We don't have the strength to carry offenses, not only for ourselves but for other people. It it's just. It's a place of growth that we have to get to, where we're just not holding on to those things.
Gianina:Yeah, I saw a post the other day that said something about not knowing everything that's happening in the world, because, I mean, in our day and age, we carry more burdens than anybody ever in existence because we're so aware of everything that's happening in other ends of the world and even in our backyard. You know that maybe we wouldn't know if we didn't have social media, and so I think that's a big part of it is realizing what burdens are yours to carry, what forgiveness is yours to walk through, and what forgiveness is yours to just say, okay, this is, this isn't my offense, and I just need to lay it down at the cross and then, the ones that are meant for you to walk through, walk through those with the Lord, because, yeah, well, let me ask this, because this is something that my son asks me all the time and I don't know that I have a good answer for this but how do you forgive God when you feel like he's let you down?
Carrie:Well, it's not biblical. He doesn't. It says he never leaves us or forsakes us, even though we have feelings that we've been abandoned. It's not biblical and our feelings aren't even something that are trustworthy. So it's a thought, feeling and emotion that doesn't line up with God's word, and so we're supposed to make everything obedient to God's word. So if we're having a thought, feeling and emotion that are not in line with God's word, we have to make it true to God's word. That's how we reconcile it. What does God's word say about this? That's where we go to answer that question.
Gianina:That's good.
Kiley:As we close out this season, I just want to say thank you. Thank you to each of you here tonight Carrie, Maggie, Carmen, Anna and Gianina and to everyone who's listened, shared, cried, laughed and walked through with us. We never wanted this to be a podcast that only looks back, but one that honors the middle, the valleys, the walkthrough, and your stories and the God who shows up in them have made this season unforgettable. We can't wait for what's ahead, but tonight we're grateful for what has been. So thanks for walking with us, and we'll see you next season.